11.o6.11. sunday.

today i learned that i am selfish.

but i once heard a wise girl say, in a round about way:

'you need to stop pleasing others and be selfish

by thinking of yourself and making yourself happy first.'

well. maybe that's what i'm doing.

maybe i'm not happy.

maybe that's why i'm being selfish.

i deserve to be happy just as well as the next person does.

if i could only see into the future and see how things really will be

that would make life a tad bit easier.

i'm done ranting for now.

1o.26.11 wednesday.

you've gotta be out there.
you've gotta be somewhere.
where ever you are, i'm waiting.
cause there are these nights when
i sing myself to sleep.
and i'm hoping my dreams
bring you close to me.
are you listening?

hear me i'm crying out
i'm ready now.
turned my world upside down.
find me.
i'm lost inside the crowd it's getting loud.
i need you to see i'm screaming for you to please.
hear me.

i used to be scared of
letting someone in
but it gets so lonely being on my own
no one to talk to
and no one to hold me
i'm not always strong.
oh i need you here, are you listening?

i'm restless and wild
i fall but i try
i need someone to understand
can you hear me?
i'm lost in my thoughts
and baby i've fought for all that i've got.
can you hear me?


* if you could see inside me. you'd see a bunch of little pieces that are supposed to make a love shaped figure and you might possibly notice how empty it is inside there. my eyes are too blurry to see the screen.

1o. 24. 11. monday.

i've decided to never get so overly excited for something to happen.
because you will be disappointed. that's a promise.

blah. seriously.

1o. o9. 11. sunday.

thank you pinterest. goodnight world.

1o.o2.11. sunday.

so it was conference weekend & honestly I was shocked by the amounts of friends on facebook that were commenting on conference. no big deal. BUT what is super annoying and hypocritical of people is when they say how excited they are for conference and how they have tickets to the sunday session. blah blah blah. and yet their other posts, through out the rest of the year, is nothing church like. with swear words and derogatory comments. they aren't a part of the church then, just when conference comes around and just when it's convenient for them. seriously, that is my biggest pet peeve ever.

or when someone barely watches conference or barely goes to church, but when they're around family they want to talk it up and make everyone think they're super religious. pet peeve.

believe in what you really believe, but don't lie about it. be truthful to yourself. don't try to impress anyone else, it's nonsense. really.

just venting a little, and expressing how i feel. it's my pet peeve. it's my opinion.

homework time. thee end.

o9.28.11. wednesday.

I finally did it.

I purchased some toms, my first pair.
it's hard to tell. but they sparkle black. ha. purchased in the little kid section, which saved me eh, a good twenty dollars I'm sure, including my five dollar off coupon I found online. not too shabby. hopefully they fit. & hopefully I love them like I've heard I should. =)

well. I need to do some studying now I suppose. life is good. work is good. school is school. =) enough said for now.

o8. 17. 11. wednesday.

I'm in st geezy. lovin' the summer sun, fun, & life. I love getting away from work and the norm life. Great time to take a vacation since school starts up in two weeks. & life is a bit crazy.

Birthday in two days on Friday. =) couldn't be more excited.
Except i need some mad plans, besides work.
any takers? i'm sure i'll find something exciting.

THEN family is coming up for dinner saturday night in logan.
I couldn't be more excited. <3

Now time to get ready for the day.
Nothing like some shorts & tankie tops in the hot summer st george sunnnn!
& SWIMMING TODAY!

<3 see ya babies.