12.o3.13. Tuesday.

Hello December.
It's nice to see you.
But where did November go?

I love this picture.
It has a lot of meaning in where
I am in life right now.


I've dated quite a big over the previous two years. I've gone on various dates. Some were great. Some were lame. Some I made new friendships from. & Some helped me gain new perspectives. It's amazing at how far I have come from that quiet girl who was afraid to even date. That girl who thought she'd be single forever. (You think I'm over exaggerating, but that's really how I felt.) I'm so grateful for all the boys that have taken me out over the past two years. They have made me want to be a better person & I've learned so much from them. Both about myself & the people I wish to surround myself with. I'm thrilled to finally be in a healthy relationship with someone who wants to be in a relationship with me. Someone who is willing to put effort into a relationship. Someone who appreciates me. Cloud nine, where have you been all my life?

As Megan puts it: It's about time someone has buttered my flies. Hahaah.

Loves.

11.28.13. Thursday.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Thankful for:
1. Immediate Family.
2. Opportunity to go to college.
3. Pharmacy Technician license.
4. My little sister. I look up to her.
5. Supportive Friends.
6. My boyfriend, Zack.
7. The Ability to not have to live Pay Check To Pay Check.
8. Both of my reliable vehicles.
9. The Military.
10. Modern Technology.
11. Health.
12. My Luke Bryan CD.
13. Clean Clean Clothes.
14. Extended Family.
15. The ability to pay for college without taking out any loans.
16. Sugar bear.
17. The Ability Opportunity to Travel.
18. My Parents & their Example.
19. My Apartment in Logan.
20. Little Feet.
21. Washer & Dryer.
22. Warm bed.
23. J.
24. Online Shopping.
25. The Priesthood.
26. Education.
27. Blankets.
28. Modern Medicine.
29. AC in the Summer.
30. Being in a happy healthy relationship.
31. Five Senses. (Vision, Hearing, Taste, Touch, Smell.)
32. Megan & Amanda.
33. Makeup.
34. A job that works with my school schedule.
35. Clean Stuff. (Toothpaste, Shampoo, Soap, Deodorant. The Essentials.)
36. Breaks from School.
37. DVR.
38. The innocence of little kids.
39. Warm Hoodies.
40. Most of my Coworkers.
41. Shaka Laka Chapstick.
42. A M E R I C A .
43. Craftiness.
44. My Cellphone.
45. Sterling Silver Earrings.
46. Portable Electric Heaters.
47. Knowledge of a Higher Power.
48. Warm Showers.
49. Aveeno Lotion.
50. Most of all, I am grateful for the young lady I have become. I have gone through a lot in the past few years & I've learned so much from it. I've gained a new perspective on life & the people who I want to surround myself with. It hasn't been easy, in fact, it's been pretty dang hard. Losing friends, losing relationships. But look at all the things I have accomplished & the good that has come from all of those trials. If my life had maintained how it was a few years ago, I would not have been happy. I would not have met so many people who have changed my life. I'm grateful for those trials. & I'm grateful for every one of you.

Loves.

11.17.13 sunday.

work makes me stressed.
when I'm stressed I break out.
thank you work. . . . not.
i need a new job. asap.




life has been swell. there's this boy.
& i think i'm realizing how touchy/clingy i can be.
i'm annoying myself.

loves.

november 7. 2o13. thursday.

Well Hello.

It's been a while. School has been consuming my life. Psychological stats is killer & my family crisis & intervention class requires a lot of work. Infancy/toddler lab is so fun. I love it, yet it can be stressful at times. I do believe I caught a cold from being so stressed from it this semester. Hopefully that will be the last sickness I will contract for the remainder of the year. Did I mention I am NOT getting a flu shot this year? Last year was terrible. Yes, I am aware that the flu shot last year was the worst it has ever been, but I feel healthier without it. So. There.

Halloween this year was a blast. I went to a Halloween party at my cousin's house. I dressed up as BATMAN, girl version. & J went with me. She dressed up as a Bat. Ha. It was a lot of fun. Cami's family dressed up as the Flintstones. So adorable. My costume was epic. I loved it & couldn't thank J enough for helping me out with it & providing me a big bow, black fish nets, yellow bumpkins, & a black sparkly tutu. SHE IS WONDERFUL! & I'm so grateful to have her in my life. We just . . get each other. Ha.

So around the first of October one of my friends from high school added me on twitter. I haven't heard from him since he switched to Syracuse high my junior year. Last weekend we might have gone out on a date. It was a blast. I've never been so nervous in my life. I kept telling my mom "I'm so nervous & I have no idea why . . . " Anyways. We went to Chili's & Boondocks & did a double with his friends. It was fun. They were really cool too, which made the night flow even better. We are hanging out again this Friday night. We will see what comes out of this. But right now, it's just new, fun, & exciting. It's been a while. . . I like it.

The semester is ending in a few weeks. I have a bittersweet reaction towards it. I'm so excited to be done with some of my classes! I CAN NOT WAIT! On the other hand, Amanda is moving out. UGH. What am I going to do without her? For real though. We've become great friends over this past semester. & When I find friends like that I keep them close & cherish the friendship that we have. Her & Megan are definitely two of my best friends. Thankfully I will have Megan here to finish out the school year with me.

Life is good!! SO GOOD!!

Loves.

o9.o5.13. Thursday.

"No calls-She understands.
No texts-She understands.
But when you see her with someone else-Please understand."

Loves.

o9.o4.13. wednesday

Are you ready for photo explosion? Geez.
Okay this summer was pretty eventful. Four concerts & one more to go.

TIM McGRAW Started the concerts out.
He came with Brantly Gilbert & Love&Theft.

 He did an awesome show. Although he didn't do many older songs. He did a lot off of his new album. Which . . . basically nobody knew. But it was still good.

Next up:
KENNY CHESNEY
He came with Kacey Musgraves & Eli Young Band.

 This was such a fun night with these girls. Girls night. All five of us went. & It was a lot of fun. Minus the parking. I drove down to USANA & for any of you that have been to usana, you know it's hell getting out of that parking lot. So, so terrible. After we ended up stopping at tacobell. Not knowing their drive thru was broke. We waited for 40 minutes to get food. This was probably thee longest concert night of all of them. We didn't get back until two ish AM. It was crazy. However, so far, Kenny Chesney has been my favorite. & $35 dollars later I have a shirt to show for it. EEK! Oh well, so worth it. That's all that matters. He did a lot of his older stuff & I LOVE IT! Best concert of the year, so far. :) Can't get too far ahead of us. We still have one more to go this year. :) Also, J & her boyfriend went. It was nice to spend the first two performances up sitting with them. Love spending time with them. They are a riot! :)

 In the midst of all this crazy summer. I did however get to spend some time with my J. She's adorable. Love her. We did a firepit one night. Roasted marshmallows with her cute family at their new place. & all of her 10 kids. Ha. It was a great time. Love spending time with her. & we might have shared some marshmallows. HAHAH. oh boy.

Got to see cute little Fallon this summer.

What a little cutie face! She's precious. Absolutely precious. We had a little get together for my uncle's birthday and the family went down to my uncle Don's house. Got to see everyone. & Had a great time. Love family time. I don't see them enough.

Next concert BRAD PAISLEY:
He came with Lee Brice & Chris Young.

So I actually ran into Chandra & a few of my other friends from high school at this concert. It was really good to go & talk with Chan. She got married like a week or two after this concert. It was really good to catch up with her. & My cousin Cami & her husband went to this concert. It was good to catch up with them as well. I went and talked to them in between shows. & talked with Chandra during Chris Young. The concert was great. Brad Paisley has THEE BEST graphics of any other concert that I have ever EVER been to. I was super impressed. Although, I didn't know a ton of his songs. Danced the night away with thee girls & Josh. Ha.

Next upppp ALAN JACKSON:
He came with. . . Sarah Darling?

Now see, Alan Jackson I actually ended up being sick for. I didn't want to go much. But I'm glad I did. I ended up dancing the night away with Kerina & Josh. I knew quite a few of his songs. But if anyone ever figures out who Sarah Darling is, let me know. Because after her performance, I still don't know who she is. Kerina's friend Justine drove. Geez. We were there in a flash & home in a flash. Home before midnight. It was pretty impressive! The key is driving in the south side rather than the north. Except, how do you get in the south side? I have no idea. I wish I wouldn't have been sick for this concert. But I made the best of it.

Well. Moved back to Logan. It's been good so far. School started last week & it's been . . a rush so far. Went to the UTAH STATE VS THE U game down at the U last week. It was good. Wish USU would have won though, but still a close game. Cameron made me wear that red color. I have to say, I'm pretty sure my new U shirt is my very first RED shirt. Seriously. Am I lame? Must be. Need to branch out with my colors more I suppose.

School is going great. This semester I'm taking: Family Crisis & Intervention (the professor is super intimidating so far. AHH), Human Sexuality (Which I'm super excited for this class. HAHA. Sounds so stupid. Don't judge me.), Infancy & Childhood (which includes a lab, YAY! Working with the little toddlers will be so much fun!), & Psychological Statistics (which also includes a lab. AHH. I'm pretty nervous for this class. & It doesn't help that the book & all homework is done online. I don't like that.) ANYWAYS, It's a full load this year. Working a lot less this year. Only twice a week & every other Saturday. Shouldn't be too terrible. Hopefully.

Work has been great. Just . . . . Keep on Keepin' on. Should be getting a raise here pretty soon. The papers have been submitted & now we wait. Oh the dreadful waiting process.

Been going on some dates. Here & there. Nothing too . . . serious. Just mostly hanging out. Hopefully I can concentrate on school this semester rather than a man. Who needs a man? Not this girl.

Loves.

o9.o2.13. Monday.

"we came together, fell apart, & broke each others heart."

Happy Labor Day.

Update soon. I promise.

Loves.

o6.25.13. tuesday.

what do you do when you find things that are of you & your ex?
pictures? letters? things like that?

cleaning out my little car to switch over for the summer on monday (yesterday)
& I found my old wedding announcement.
& this little four picture set of Dax & I
from his friends wedding photo booth.

weird. I just sit & look at them . .
do I throw them away?
do I keep them? what good would that do?

A few weeks ago I found the
Anniversary Inn card that they give you
with your breakfast. Something I've always kept
for little memories of our first night together.

what do I do with that? It all doesn't mean anything now.

it's just a weird feeling finding those kind of things.

throw things away, put them in a box?

geez. . .

sometimes I wish things were a tad bit different.
but things happen for reasons, right?

one day things will pan out as they should.

loves.

o6.23.13. sunday.

I've been sick, again. seriously can I not just go like a month without being sick. Sheesh. Strep test on Tuesday, negative. Dr was sure it was strep so he put me on abx & cultured my test. I called in sick on Wednesday. went to work feeling like crap Thursday & Friday. Strep test came back on Thursday, results negative. So the doctor isn't sure what I have. He said it's not a virus or allergies. Clueless,  basically. Great. called in sick again Saturday. After sleeping all day yesterday & lounging around today, I'm finally feeling better. ish. Getting there at least.

Like a week ago Friday on the 14th, I went with Kerina & a few other lovelies to go & see Tim McGraw! Soo amazing. Loved the company I went with & the show was pretty good, except he kept playing songs off his new album & everyone was like standing there like "heyyy Tim, no one knows this song. . . " still pretty good. We missed Love & Theft but saw Brantley Gilbert. He reminds me of Trent. Just his songs. I think Trent introduced his music to me. I didn't get very good pictures of the concert itself. We were like mid-way on the grass & near the end we pushed our way to the front of the gated grass section. It was nice, but we were only there for a few songs. & these lesbian rave girls were next to us. Shoving each other like we were at a big rave party. . . & they had these big gauges in their ears. I looked at Kerina & said, "I think they came to the wrong concert." For real though. Weird.

Just a few pictures from the concert, of us. None of my other pictures on my phone turned out.
*of the concert at least*
I will have to see what I have on my camera & upload those if they turned out well enough.

Has anyone ever heard of ThoughtCatalog ?
If not, you need to check it out *CLICK THAT LINK ^^^ *. I follow them on Twitter & it's basically like a big blog & people post whatever they want anonymously. I have fallen in love with it. Seriously.
People are such good writers, I wish I could write blog entries like some of those entries.

Enough for now. Next time I will have to tell you about our trip to St George & Mesquite that my family went on last weekend for my sisters birthday. :)
Bed time for now. Goodnight.

Loves.

o6.11.13. Tuesday

So. Everything has been going swell lately. I deleted facebook for a bit. It was causing drama & I felt very consumed by it. I reactivated my account today at J's house. She talked me into it. & When I came home today I deleted some fellas & blocked a few others who I don't feel the need to see what they're up to, even though we aren't facebook friends it still shows up on my feed. I don't need that, nor do I have time for that drama in my life.

In other news, Cameron has been telling me to get a bike so we can go mountain biking. HA. So I sent him a picture of this. He definitely got a kick out of it. Except I don't think it will make it very far up any mountain. Ever.



Just had my seven work days on. & today was finally my first day off in a bit. Back to work tomorrow, but it's okay. My St George getaway weekend is literally just around the corner. & How about some Tim McGraw?! Because I'm so looking forward to his concert.
At work a few days ago, after asking spectrum to change my name on our computer system, they finally did it! So nice to have my P e a r s o n name back, especially at work. I told Tim that I hate typing & that everytime they make me type & I have to log in under my ex's lastname, it makes me so depressed & blah blah blah. HAHAH. I think he got the point that I wanted my name changed in the computer system. Thank you Tim & Brady for both urging spectrum to change that for me.

We had a work BBQ on saturday at Jennifer's house. The turn out was amazing & It was so nice to get together with everyone & have zero drama. Also nice to see everyone's kids & families. We did a BBQ & then shooting. The kids got to play with waterguns & see all of Jennifer's animals. It was kind of . . oh my gosh ish. So I was the very first one to shoot the gun. There were three of us shooting at once. I shot & then Lisa's son shot. He put a hole RIGHT into Jennifer's fence. & everyone turned around & looked at Lisa. She had no idea until like a few seconds later. Her face was priceless!! But oh my gosh. So not good. Right before I shot, Jennifer's husband said "okay everyone make sure your guns are pointed up. Don't put a hole in my fence." Two seconds later, BAM! Hole in the fence. They were a good sport about it, but dang!
I enjoy doing those kind of things with the pharmacy. It's nice to be able to make other memories with everyone, besides the usual work. Being able to talk with everyone about other things is also key in the pharmacy. Keeps everyone from going insane. . . For real though.

Nails at J's house today on my day off. Four hours later & I love them. They're perfect! So happy to finally have some sunshiney nails. Bring on the sunshine & summertime! Can't wait to hear the compliments on these babies. Victoria Secret's semiannual sale is going on now. Went to newgate with sis today. We got a few things. then came home. Hopefully we can place an order online before all the sweet sales are over. & Now I leave you with this sweet picture of my nails.
Holla atcha babyyy.

Loves.

o5.3o.13. thursday.

It's crazy to me when I see people married, divorced, & moved on two weeks later.
Onto new relationships.
Is your divorce even finalized?

Or married, divorced & already re-married?
I mean I understand everyone has their different
times of healing & no one moves on at the same time.
But how committed to your marriage were you really?
Especially if a few months later you're already re-married.
Seems a little suspicious to me.

I've been here for a year & a half,
& I'm no where close to being in a relationship
with anyone,any time soon.

Just need to remind myself that moving on
takes time & everyone has their own
moving on process.
I'm not judging because well,
I don't know their stories. I just know mine.

Dating life is . . . awkward. Sometimes.
Especially when you have to spill you've been married
on the second date, because he is all about
being open & honest & doesn't understand
why you aren't looking for a committed relationship right now.
Or better yet, they question you about something
your father said at a previous time.
a w k w a r d .

I enjoy going out & meeting people,
but when I feel that someone is definitely
looking for a wife, I back out real fast.

This girl is not ready/looking for that, Thanks.

Loves.

o5.2o.13. monday. (well, early tuesday morning)

I should be grateful that my life isn't like it once was.
That the path that my life has chosen to follow does not
involve me sitting at home being a stay-at-home wife,
accomplishing nothing new but doing the same routine,
"what would you like for dinner, honey?" &
"yes, I will wash all of the clothes today & clean the house."

This path that I am on has brought me many things,
including some amazing friends that I have created
awesome friendships with.
These friends I would have never found without
being divorced.

In some ways, I need to remind myself that
my divorce was a blessing in my life.
Because it doesn't always seem that way.

Sometimes I think it would have been easier
to just deal with how things were.
Just . .  s e t t l e , chirelle.
Stop making things hard on yourself.

Well, that "settle" word is no longer in my
relationship dictionary.

I will not settle.

Loves.

o5.o2.13. thursday.

I take my last final in a little more than a few hours. But not long after the sun rises in the morning. This moving out thing is such a bitter sweet deal. Moving back home, for the first time in . . . three years? It's giving me anxiety just thinking about it. I haven't moved home for the summer in a long time. & I don't mind being home, but on the other hand I do enjoy my own space. I don't feel like I have that at home. . .

Packed the room up & the apartment for that matter. Amanda&I cleaned everything & began packing tonight. Our cars are packed. There's nothing left in this room of mine except my bedding, backpack, & this duffel-bag of mine. It's weird. It's a feeling I don't like.

Last night my mom texted me & said "enjoy your last two nights in Logan before you move home!" I said "That gives me anxiety just thinking about that." I can't help it. & It's not that I'm sad I'm leaving school, I just think I would like to stay somewhere & have my own space, like here in Logan. The anxiety of moving back up here kills me too. Last summer I was dying at the thought of returning to Logan. The dreaded place where my past resides. I don't like that feeling. Over the past 8 months I've grown to love this place again & call it home. I don't want to leave & return. =/ My roommates have been amazing this year. Such a blessing. Just what I needed. I talk to Megan & Amanda about my problems often. Megan is more sympathetic & Amanda, more logical. I need both of that in my life though. Someone to sympathize with me a little on how I'm feeling & someone to tell me "get over it. it's done. move on." Best of both worlds, like miley cyrus. HA

Well. I suppose now that it's one AM. I should probably definitely look over my stuff for tomorrow's stats final. Although, I feel like my brain can not absorb much more information. Mmm.

Loves. Goodnight.

o4.3o13. Tuesday

If YOU could just stay out of my dreams, for just once, I would appreciate it & dream without anxiety.
Okay, Thanks. Bye.

Loves..

o4.22.13. monday.

Do you feel like throwing up like I feel like throwing up?
Okay just making sure that I'm not feeling this way alone.
geez. . . .some peoples children.

loves.

o4.15.13. monday.

I miss you, where are you?
can't we just figure things out?

.
.
.
.
.

This weekend happened to be a long weekend. I was actually off work all weekend, surprisingly. It's kind of nice having these weekends off. Spent some of Friday up on campus talking to my communications professor & figuring out classes needed for next semester. Lunch with Megan at Paradise Bakery. It was actually good & nice to branch out. Well worth the money too. Wrote some papers, two to be exact. Well, didn't quite finish them on Friday. Megan got home from work around 10:30. Went to Wendy's for dinner with her. "Two baked potatoes, please" Yes, we are both vegetarians. hahah. It works out. Watched some television with Megan. Us & our murder shows. *scary*

"I hope no one is behind my shower curtain & if there is, I hope they allow me to finish peeing before they attack."

Fears of watching murder shows until two in the morning. HA. Made breakfast for Megan & I on Saturday morning. Orange Cinnamon rolls, & can they not possibly give you any more frosting to put on them? GEEZ. Up the calorie count a little & add the MUCH NEEDED extra frosting. Home by myself most of the day afterwards. Worked on some papers for school & went to costa vida for dinner, by myself. But it was soo good! Brought it home to eat. Started packing up my room & guess what I found. It was a miracle. Story first: Last summer I purchased a new laptop. Well, included in that purchase was a few rebates. One for a $50 check & one for a $100 visa prepaid gift card. I received the check & never received the gift card. After three separate phone calls to Staples Rebates, I finally received it over Christmas break. Well. then I lost it. YES. One hundred dollars on a prepaid visa. Lost. Gone. I have looked everywhere for it. Well I found it on Saturday night, along with $40 that my Grandma gave me for Christmas, still in the Christmas card & all. HA.

$140 magical dollars appeared at my house. Which is lovely, considering Logan City gave me a undeserved parking ticket last week. They claim I was one minute over my hour parking. Says who? PROVE IT. I fought it & came home today with an email saying my appeal was denied. But it doesn't say why or anything & the spot where the officer is supposed to comment is blank. Uh. Can I appeal this denial appeal? Because I need evidence that they proved & "investigated" like they said they would, that I was actually over my allotted time, not just a denial email with zero comments attached. Thank you Logan City, for sucking Twenty dollars out of my pocket.

"people who give parking tickets aren't even police officers."
"yeah they probably want to be police officers but no one wants them on their police squad so they send them out to be d-bags to everyone else. Just so they don't have to see them in their working space."

Couldn't have said it better myself. Geez.

Uhm. Purchased a new phone this weekend. So that's good. & I also went home Sunday & spent the day with my momma.I went to my dad's shop before going home & I expected my dad & Taylor to be there. Walked in, looking like I just woke up. Jammies on & no make up. Walked in & BAM! Like ten people were there. Just staring at me. "ohhh heyyyy." & everyone stares. So I said "well this is awkward" & my uncle don says "fine if no one else is going to give her a hug, I will!" hahaha. I asked taylor to fix my car. My windshield fluid wasn't working. What a miracle it is when you just ADD windshield wiper fluid. Geez. What a girl I am. I hope my future husband can fix my car problems like this without me always thinking something is broke. I need a manly man. HA. where is he?

Went to the Dr again for the 2nd time in the past 6 weeks. Because ever since my strep over spring break, I haven't felt well. I'm on another antibiotic. Whoow... & some cough tablets. Hopefully this nastiness is gone, soon. Pronto please. Ain't nobody got time for this, especially this busy body! Dr said to call him if I'm not feeling better by Friday & he will prescribe me something else. Probably thinks I'm a hypochondriac. Seriously though. Just want to feel better. FOR GOOD.

On a better note, Registering for classes tonight. Midnight -- hurry up! This girl is tired, she needs her sleep.

Loves & goodnight.

o4.o9.13. Tuesday.

Why are we searching for love?
Can't we learn to love?

Really though.

LOVES.

o3.29.13. friday.

In my interpersonal communications class lately, we have been learning about romantic relationships. How they become, the steps involved, & also what happens when they disappear (The steps, that is.) It's been really interesting actually. I can't help but to think of a few relationships & how these different steps apply/applied to those past/present relationships.

One thing she mentioned today was that when you move on, you tell others about what happened in the relationship in a way that it benefits you. A way that makes you sound datable for the next relationship. No one walks around saying "I'm a real jerk. I screwed up." Everyone puts that blame on the opposite person, regardless of where the blame is to be placed. & Most of the time, let's be honest, the blame needs to be placed on both partners, because obviously both partners weren't willing to make things work, at some point in the relationship. Maybe one was more willing in the middle when problems starting to get bad, & then that one checked out & the other person realized that this is what they wanted & then they try. Both partners do need to try, continuously, to make a relationship work. This relationship thing can not be one sided, or else it's . . called bribery or something else.

One step is called "grave dressing" & It's literally burying the relationship & moving on. Sometimes I feel like I get stuck in this stage of a relationship. I can't just bury it & move on so easily. Sometimes I feel like I've moved on & I can move forward & then something comes up & all those feelings just rush back & I'm like . . stuck in that phase all over again. I don't know how to describe it much more than that. What is the key to moving on & how long does it take people anyways?

Geez, this dating/love thing is tough. I don't like it.

LOVES.

o3.28.13. thursday.

The little reminders that your EX best friend is STILL best friends with your EX.

All the hell she put me through. . .
What a terrible best friend she was.

SO glad I kicked her out & that she's no longer in my life.

Such a train wreck of a person.
Trying to wreck everyone's lives. . .
& I put up for it for W A Y too long.

GEEZ.

Loves.

o3.o9.13. saturday early morning.

I suppose it is Saturday already. Early morning. 1:30 am.

Just got home from J's house. Love her. It's been quite an eye opening evening.

Work went well. I enjoyed today, very much. If I could have more Friday's & work days like today, I would always work. All the time. So much less drama on Fridays & Especially on Saturdays. Love my Saturday crew. :) They're wonderful. Couldn't ask for better coworkers sometimes. Some of them at least. Ha. I'm trying this new thing where I try not to get sucked into the drama & talking behind everyone's back. Why? Because I know everyone is talking behind my back when I'm not there, so. . . I'm turning over a new leaf. Trying to anyways. . . It's a work in progress.

Over the past few days I've had very eye opening experiences. . Well . . Just talks I suppose. Been talking with my roommates a lot about things in my life & Amanda & Megan have opened my eyes to some different things. Not things I want to hear, but good things. Well tonight was no different. Except, instead of my roommate it happened with my coworker & J.

As I was leaving work tonight, one of my coworkers decided to talk to me about my dating situations & things of that sort, trying to figure out what's going on in people's lives, general talk. I was telling him about things inside the pharmacy & as I left I was seriously irritated at myself for what I've been doing & allowing myself to do. I was half way across the parking lot to my car & my coworker was yelling, "I don't get it Chirelle. So many other guys would treat you so much better. You deserve better than that. But apparently you like being treated like crap or else you wouldn't put up with that!" I stood there, in the cold dark parking lot & yelled back, "apparently I do like being treated like crap." As tears just started forming in my eyes I hurried to my car. It was eye opening to how I have been being treated & how I don't deserve that. I wasn't hurt by what he said, I was just blown away because that's what I needed to hear. That just broke down all my walls & opened my eyes to everything that was really going on.

I went to J's after & we watched a movie & ate some tacotime with her kids. Then MarkRobert & Austin went and got us ice cream & came back & we watched the end of Twilight 4th movie (the fighting part.) ha. After, MarkRobert took Austin home & the kids went to bed. J & I talked about everything & she kept saying, "I can't express how much I love you & you don't deserve that. You've been through so much with your marriage & that relationship with your ex. You deserve the best, & if someone isn't willing to do that for you, then he better sit down & stop playing this yo-yo game with you." I seriously love her. I would be lost without her. Can't wait to get out of Logan & move down here & be with her more. . . It'll be good for me. I told MarkRobert that I'm moving in so prepare to fall in love with me. J asked him if he's willing to fall for an older woman. He said yes. HA! Oh my, they kill me.

Enough about my drama in my life. That's pretty much what's going on. I don't like feeling back burner to everyone & I don't like waiting around to make plans with someone. I want to feel like I'm wanted. I want to feel like I'm not an embarrassment to others. Right now, I don't feel that way.

Complaining to Megan the other night I said, "It's just little things." She quickly corrected me & said, "No Chirelle. It's not little things. . It once was little things. Now it's bigger things & a lot of little, good moments." She is right. That needs to change.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I'll probably regret this post one day, I'm sure it will come back & smack me in my face.

Loves.

o3.o5.13. tuesday.

Happy birthday to my cute little Fallon. I can't believe she is one already! I swear it was yesterday that Cami had her. Sheesh. Time sure does fly. She's having a birthday party in the next couple weekends, can't wait to go & see her & Cami. Haven't seen them since New years day. Such a cutie patootie! Seriously.

Spring Break is coming up next week. I seriously can not wait! I took off work on Wednesday & I'm off the rest of the week already because its my weekend off. So I only work Monday. I'm hoping to do something. Mick & I tried to plan a cruise but she couldn't get off work Thursday or Friday. Bummer. Cruises are super cheap when you book them two weeks out. We are rain checking for another time in the summer. Her & I are just going to up and go. The luxuries of having a passport & being able to do that with a flexible job. Love it.

School wise: I was dreading Stats this semester & honestly, I have an A in stats. That's the class I am doing THEE best in. I can't believe it. Ha. I've put in a lot of hard work for that class. Now If I could bring up some of my other grades to A's that would be ideal. Trying to have more of a social life this semester. I've been attending the Lacrosse games. (Well the two I could attend) & they were fun. I told Matt he needs to teach me more about it so I can cheer for him next year when he plays. Ha.

As for work, Hopefully I will return to my every other weekend shift. The past two months I have worked every weekend. Ridiculous. I'm part time & I've work an average of 50% of all the days in each month ( January & Feb) Let's hope that ends. Because I'm on overload. Definitely.

Also, I'm back into the dating scene. . . I suppose. . . Wish Things would just pan out as they should & I didn't have to date around. I don't like this dating game. It scares me & I don't like it.

Better go study for my stats quiz tomorrow & natural disasters test on Thursday.

LOVES.

o2.25.13. monday.

I officially feel like the life has been sucked out of me today.

I don't know if I'm just physically & mentally exhausted from work . . .
or what is exactly going on . . .

But I do not like the feeling. . .

or maybe I'm just exhausted from trying to be stronger than I really am.

loves.

o2.24.13. Sunday.

Basically how I've felt the last two weeks. . . Can I get a break?

St George was beautiful. Loved spending time with my girls there. *aunts, cousins, mom, & sis.* Girls weekend getaways are needed more often, definitely. . .

Worked day 3 in a row out of 4 today. Can't wait for tomorrow to be over & have a day break before I'm back to thee pharmacy again. . . Geez. . . Work-oholic.

Loves.

o2.12.12. Tuesday.

Words of advice after this weekend:

"If you don't want anyone to
find out about it, Don't do it."

I'm upset & hurt. . . to say the least.

I thought people had more class than that. .
That's all I will say about the topic right now.

loves. . .

o2.o6.13. wednesday.

Took off work today, it was much needed. Cameron covered my shift. I've been working a lot, so this really won't put me behind any. Filled my day with stats quiz, aced. =) & meeting with the librarian for a paper due next week. She helped me a lot actually. Chick-fil-A FREE breakfast with Amanda this morning. I asked her if she wanted to go last night & she's like "is that text for matt?" GIRRRL. NO it ain't for Matt. HAHAH. Hung around with her a lot today, around home & such. Library for two hours. 2 chapters of reading for Family Management & 2 Quizzes on those chapters.

Did something today that I've never really done before. Bought these tickets for this awesome concert. . . concerts. FIVE concerts. Matt said he would accompany me to these concerts. He's going to have to stay with me for . . . all summer if that is the case. & that IS the case, because he bought tickets as well. What a champ. He's wonderful.



Can't wait to see Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, Brad Paisley, Alan Jackson, & LUKE BRYAN!
You all know how I'm overly obsessed with Luke Bryan, He is PERFECT! Ow.. OW! I'd definitely become an insta-mom for him & his two little boys. He wants it, he's just not sure how to let his wife  know. . . JUST SAYIN'.

Speaking of celebs. I'm pretty sure Scotty McCreery is in my communications class this semester. Yeah. . . I'm like 99.99% sure that it's him. Even though everyone thinks I'm crazy, I'm definitely not. My mom did say, "well I guess a communications class is good for everyone to take, even Scotty." HAHAHA. She kills me. Love her.

The weather has been prettier over the past few days, don't mind driving my long hour & whatever drive to work when it's pretty weather outside. I did make thee best hot chocolate EVER today too. So I'll be taking that to work from now on.



Don't mind my ugly water marks on my windshield, ha. Just look at that pretty blue sky we haven't seen in a while. LOVE IT. The weather is also warming up, which is a relief. But I know it's short lived, even though the ground hog claims to have not seen his shadow & that spring is coming early, I know it's not. . . because. . . has anyone else seen the snow we have been receiving? It's not done yet, I'm sure.

I've been hangin' out with J. She's adorable. & Definitely my bff. She knows just what to say ALL the time. She's great. We had a double date last weekend. It was a lot of fun. Dinner & movie at her house. I think she liked Matt & visa versa. Which is good. & Lately, I've been thinking Matt's roommates like me. Even though he assures me daily that they really like me, it was nice to see it for myself yesterday. Having his roommates like me is definitely a big deal, because I know he really values what they think/say.

(The angle of my booty looks. . . well. . . Nicki Minaj like. But I promise, it's the mirror.)

Matt is coming over to watch Teen Mom with me now. He's great. You'll all need to meet him, one day. You'll like him, I promise.  Seeee yaaa.

Loves.

o1.27.13 sunday again

Just kidding, here's your picture. Awh. How cute is he.
Okay, okay we both look tired. We were. But it was a fun get away.

o1.27.13 sunday.

Well this semester has been crazy already. I can't believe I'm already starting my 4th week of the semester. Seems weird. Stats is nottt fun. I'm staying alive in it, so far at least. The other classes seem nice. I'm really liking my communications class, even though all the papers due in that class WILL kill me. I really like the professor. She's sweet.

I've been going on quite a bit of dates lately. It's been fun, but there's something about dating that I just hate. Probably the fact that when you're on a date, you have to be thee happiest girl ever. & that you're super interested in everything they have to say. Anyways, I've had fun. But I decided to settle it down & get myself a boyfriend. Mr. Matt Taylor. We went for a little get away over the weekend with my parents & some of my parents friends. It was so nice to just get away with him & just be ourselves. Something about him makes me forget about everyone & everything. It's a nice feeling. Hopefully he can deal with me & my crazy work/school schedule. It'll be a challenge, but I think we can make it work.

We decided this a few days ago after having the DTR talk. It was nice. Then I worked, & we had a set double date with Janalynn for saturday & I got a cold. HOW annoying. Rescheduling that soon.

Work is keeping me busy. But being flexible with my schedule & the snow storms we have had. We had an ice storm on thursday. It was insane. I've never seen anything like that, ever. It was weird. Everything was just iced over. Been having fun with my roommates lately. They're great. Amanda, Megan, & I are looking for places to live next semester. Hopefully we can figure it out soon. I wouldn't mind staying in oakridge, with a few exceptions.

Like the other day when when our fire alarms went off ALL NIGHT & I called the on call emergency oakridge phone number & no one answers. or ever calls me back. Unacceptable. The fire fighters were at our house & they couldn't do anything. It was oakridge that needed to.

Life has been crazy & life has been great.

Loves.

Ps. was going to post a picture of Matt & I & our weekend away. but that will have to wait until I get to college with better internet.