11.o9.11.wednesday. again.

i love when my dad calls me to check up on me
and tells me that everything will be okay
and time heals everything.

it makes me cry even harder.
but it somehow makes me believe it,
because it came from him.

although it's a lot easier said than done.

my mom is thee best as well.
always there for me to talk to.
she's so smart & such a great listener.

i have thee best parents in the world.
& not to mention my little sister
is not so little anymore
she's very smart.

i love them.

come on baby, this too will pass.

11.o9.11.wednesday.

'love is telling someone the biggest secret you have, and the next morning, you're closer than ever.'

--says the lady on the tv earlier today.



well. . .

the CMA's are on tonight.
that's my positive thing for today.

I'll be home, alone. watching it.
my rascal babies will be performing.
and that's all that matters right now.

and i did freaking fantastic on my US institutions test last week. =)
WHOOOW!!
YES, all that studying DID pay off.

now off to write some papers for jazz and horticulture.

11.o6.11. sunday.

today i learned that i am selfish.

but i once heard a wise girl say, in a round about way:

'you need to stop pleasing others and be selfish

by thinking of yourself and making yourself happy first.'

well. maybe that's what i'm doing.

maybe i'm not happy.

maybe that's why i'm being selfish.

i deserve to be happy just as well as the next person does.

if i could only see into the future and see how things really will be

that would make life a tad bit easier.

i'm done ranting for now.

1o.26.11 wednesday.

you've gotta be out there.
you've gotta be somewhere.
where ever you are, i'm waiting.
cause there are these nights when
i sing myself to sleep.
and i'm hoping my dreams
bring you close to me.
are you listening?

hear me i'm crying out
i'm ready now.
turned my world upside down.
find me.
i'm lost inside the crowd it's getting loud.
i need you to see i'm screaming for you to please.
hear me.

i used to be scared of
letting someone in
but it gets so lonely being on my own
no one to talk to
and no one to hold me
i'm not always strong.
oh i need you here, are you listening?

i'm restless and wild
i fall but i try
i need someone to understand
can you hear me?
i'm lost in my thoughts
and baby i've fought for all that i've got.
can you hear me?


* if you could see inside me. you'd see a bunch of little pieces that are supposed to make a love shaped figure and you might possibly notice how empty it is inside there. my eyes are too blurry to see the screen.

1o. 24. 11. monday.

i've decided to never get so overly excited for something to happen.
because you will be disappointed. that's a promise.

blah. seriously.

1o. o9. 11. sunday.

thank you pinterest. goodnight world.

1o.o2.11. sunday.

so it was conference weekend & honestly I was shocked by the amounts of friends on facebook that were commenting on conference. no big deal. BUT what is super annoying and hypocritical of people is when they say how excited they are for conference and how they have tickets to the sunday session. blah blah blah. and yet their other posts, through out the rest of the year, is nothing church like. with swear words and derogatory comments. they aren't a part of the church then, just when conference comes around and just when it's convenient for them. seriously, that is my biggest pet peeve ever.

or when someone barely watches conference or barely goes to church, but when they're around family they want to talk it up and make everyone think they're super religious. pet peeve.

believe in what you really believe, but don't lie about it. be truthful to yourself. don't try to impress anyone else, it's nonsense. really.

just venting a little, and expressing how i feel. it's my pet peeve. it's my opinion.

homework time. thee end.