A few months ago, while talking to my bishop he said:
'Stop talking to Dax. Right now he has the best of both worlds. his friends & a beautiful girl talking to him & giving him attention, even if he doesn't respond to what you say. Stop talking to him. He needs to feel like he's lost something.'
Ever since then, I've tried really hard to cut off communication between the two of us, although it has been sooo hard. I feel like I have been doing a pretty good job. I can't help to think if he misses me though. . or thinks about me at all?
I still feel very day-by-day-ish, especially since I've been home from the cruise for a little over a week now. & without school, it's hard to find things to fill that void in my life. I went out to lunch with Mike Livingston yesterday. It was really good to catch up with him, after all, it has been about a year. Scott gets home next month, & I'm beyond stoked!! So that will be good. . .
I know I am stronger because of all this . . . Hell I have been put through. & Yes, it has been hell. But I know there is someone out there for me, that will fill this void in my heart & be able to repair all the hurt I have been through. I know that person is not Dax, & even if I wish things would work out between us, I'm coming to grips that they will not ever work out. A relationship & marriage takes two committed people, unfortunately I can not be the only one to hold that together.
Remember Shannon & Chad the wedding photographers? Well I went & picked up my wedding stuff the other day, yes perfect timing, I know. . pft. Anyways, Shannon said she was shocked to hear my story & is all about healing hearts, so she wants to hook me up with someone she knows in her ward. He's like 25 & MATURE. Finished college, and has a decent job. I'm all for it. Hook this girl up Shannon. I need to get out & meet people & start dating. Even though my heart might not be fully ready, I think it will be good for me.
Enough about things right now. .
Goodnight & Loves. <3
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Chirelle, i know we havent hung out much in the past but we used to be best friends before you moved to Kentucky! PLEASE! let me know if you get lonely and down, i'll come get ya and we'll go do some girl stuff! i hope things get better and if i think of anyone to set you up with (that has a good head on his shoulders, GOOD LOOKS and all that jazz) i'll send him your way :)
ReplyDeleteI loveee this comment Autumn! =) Yes we were best friends before I moved away. What the heck happened?! Miss you pretty girl! Let's get together soon, seriously!
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