I just got home from the cruise early this morning/late last night. I can't wait to blog all about it. & share all my stories. It was amazing, to say the least. Unfortunately it's back to reality & I can't help but thinking about him. He was supposed to go on this cruise. We had this planned. But he decided not to get his passport, because he had checked out by August last year, when it was planned. It's all hard, still. six months since separation & I'm still struggling. I just want everything to be like it should be. How it was planned last January 2011. But tonight, what's really getting me. My best friend, who I've been close to since tenth grade. MY BEST FRIEND. She chose him over me. Most hurtful thing in the world right there. I'm finding new friends, but it doesn't mean I'm not hurt inside. Such betrayal. I seriously wish I could just live on the cruise boat forever. Get my mind off of everything, forever. Move on. Start a new life, where no body knows my story, or what rumors they've heard, or what I've been through. That's just what I want. . . I want a fresh start. I want my mind erased of all these hurtful things and backstabbing people. Looks like it's me, my pillow, butter bear, & some tissues tonight.
Someone just make it okay..
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